Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Among other perks, my fabulous employer supplies us with snacks and food at random, and today it's team spirit football cupcakes. I abhor all sports but football in particular, and hearing about pre-season games sends me into a tizzy. If two opposing teams are playing one another on a field in front of an audience, it makes absolutely no sense not to count it, unless you want to eke out more money from your rabid fans.
So, do I have a moral obligation to abstain? Is consuming a cupcake an unspoken way of giving my approval of "Who-Dey," the Ben-Gals and pre-season fever? I think it is, so not even a dollop of icing will cross these lips.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
I spent the afternoon going through some old dishes of my grandmother's and straightening up my apartment in preparation for some guests next weekend (well, mostly watching old episodes of "Felicity" and eating LaRosa's pizza on the couch).
In sorting through boxes I found these china coffee mugs. I'm normally not real big on things with flowers on them because then I think about all the plants I murder through neglect and laziness, but they remind me of late Grandma J (or "Big El," as we affectionately called her) so cherish them I shall. However, notably missing is a mug for Springtime.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Let's suppose there's this hot dog. It's been cooked, but has been on the office floor for three days (bunless). No one has stepped on it, but it's pretty dusty. Would you:
A) Eat the hot dog whenever you got hungry.
B) Eat the hot dog for minor compensation (less than $50).
C) Eat the hot dog, but only for major compensation (over $500).
D) Only eat the hot dog in an Alive-type situation.
E) Never eat the hot dog, no matter what.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
But searching the internet for egg boiling instructions takes a good 15 minutes (if you're easily confused), and hard boiling a dozen eggs takes over an hour (if you do it wrong). By 10:00, setting up little cups for each color and then cleaning up the mess was sounding less and less appealing. So Gilmore Girls won the day, and I will be eating plain, white hard boiled eggs every day as a nutrient-heavy pre-run snack.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Now, back to my Sunday. Lorelai and Rory await.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
2. The English Patient
5. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (the original -- certainly not the watered-down sequel)
6. 27 Dresses
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Plus, it's fucking quaint as hell.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
To my delight, we happened upon the very Southerniest of scenes and I captured it with my low-quality camera: a group of young ladies and gentlemen playing croquet in Battery Park, wearing hats, suits and plaid pants. Ironically done or not, it doesn't get any more genteel than that.
On an unrelated note, happy St. Patrick's Day to all. I celebrated by going grocery shopping, eating week-old chicken noodle soup and not wearing green. I ask you to join me in hoping that no drunken revelers stumble down from my neighborhood bar and try to enter my house as has happened in the past.
Monday, March 8, 2010
- It enables me to create bulleted lists, which I enjoy.
- Neighborhood kitties.
- Good people-watching, including Dude Pitching Golfballs on Sidewalk and Cute Mom Walking Viszla While Carrying Baby in Yellow Duck Jammies
- It's so easy to switch back and forth from fast to slow to match the tempo of my non-Apple mp3 player. Miley Cyrus's "Party in the USA": Speed up! Dulcet tones of Regina Spektor (phew, that's not as embarrassing): Slow down!
- Vitamin D. Thanks, sunshine! This encourages me to run farther, making me feel less guilty for eating whole blocks of cheese for dinner.
Why it's worse:
- Hills. That one on [street name omitted so as to foil internet stalkers' plans to creepily stalk] is excessive.
- Drinking fountains not as conveniently located.
- Sometimes, you see men peeing and/or wacking off in the alley near neighborhood pizza places. It's distracting enough to throw off one's pace, but hmmm, I guess it does inspire faster running.
Friday, March 5, 2010
These lawyers are all of the minds that they can sweet-talk me into suing the Drunkee McNoInsurancePants who ran into me a fortnight ago. They think I have the time and inclination to pursue that ne'er-do-well for pain, suffering and costs incurred. They're all sorely mistaken, however, because I'm choosing to spend my time and inclinations elsewhere. Mostly on things like watching 'LOST,' talking about 'LOST,' kvetching about how the previous driver of my rental car was a smoker, and waiting eagerly for my 'Gilmore Girls' box set to arrive.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
- The public library carries zero seasons of Gilmore Girls. This charming romp through small town Stars Hollow includes an episode in which 16-yr-old Rory oversleeps and misses a quiz (episode two -- I've only gotten through episode four so no spoilers). The public library does, however, carry Grey's Anatomy in its entirety. This series includes an episode in which one of the doctors fractures his penis (episode 91, and it was Dr. Sloane, btw).
- I ran into my ex husband at Blockbuster video while looking for season one, disc two of Gilmore Girls.
- Neither my local Blockbuster store nor even any of the outlying Blockbuster locations carry any seasons of Gilmore Girls.
- The movie Sunshine Cleaning is a poor substitute for an evening spent with Lorelai and Rory Gilmore.
On the Brighter Side:
- Ex husband could stand to drop a few lbs. My recent bout with consumption kept me on a steady diet of UDF milkshakes and popcorn and has severely curtailed any gymgoing, but luckily that has yet to show any physical affects.
- The peach juice I bought on a whim in the Greek section at Jungle Jim's goes awesome with Diet 7UP.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
I was surprised to see an entire exhibit on hobos at the Science Museum. The thing I like about hobos is that they are by their very nature a disorganized group (well, besides the annual National Hobo Convention). So there hasn't yet been any large movement to discourage people from making fun of bindles and boxcar jumping. I'm sure that it'll soon be un-PC, but until then I plan to keep using the word "hobo" as an insult.
Marking this outside a person's home indicates that they have a gun. Kind of like, "Stick 'em up, triangle!"
Took this one on a recent (just as fun) road trip down South. I really admire this vendor's confidence.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Speaking of cliches, I'm totally into twitter these days. I just can't help it--it allows me to express myself in non-sequiturs to my little heart's content.
If you are a skeptic, read this article about how twitter will change the way we live.
I decided to change my profile from restricted to public (I got nothin' to hide), so was proofing my entire feed to make sure there wasn't anything particularly objectionable or embarrassing (okay, so I DO have something to hide). My first three posts really illustrate how slowly the love affair with twitter develops:
still doesn't "get" twitter. 9:21 AM Jan 29th from web
forgot about twitter. 8:22 PM Feb 13th from web
is not an active twitter participant.
9:38 PM Mar 11th from web
Now, I post at least once a day, and sometimes upwards of four or five times. The best part for me is that there are endless opportunities for snark and meta-tweeting.
Give twitter a chance, and you'll fall in love with it just like I did.
Monday, April 27, 2009
A few years ago, I noticed that my hummus stockpile was depleting at a more rapid pace than usual, but I attributed it to my own absent-mindedness and lack of awareness about my own hummus intake. One day, though, it was clear when I looked at the scraped-clean container that something was amiss. Someone had been helping him or her self to the manna from heaven! Despite weeks of complaining and passive-aggressive notes, I never did discover who the culprit was. I suspect this person is no longer with our company, because my hummus has remained unburgled ever since.
My boss found this gem in our new building before it was gutted and renovated, and gave it to me in honor of my extreme crustiness about the Hummus Debacle. I still have it hanging in my cubicle as a reminder to be vigilant with passive-aggressive notes whenever such situations arise.